I’m Just like YOU
Yep, I’m just like you.
I’ve spent my life trying to figure out my path, why I’m valuable, and how to find validation. My heart has been broken by loss, by those closest to me, and my own foolish actions.
Sound familiar?
I recently had the pleasure of participating in a Sunday evening Salon Dinner. I’ve heard the term before but had no idea what it actually was until I accepted the invite and attended the gathering.
The dinner topic was all around Veteran ReIntegration.
We landed something profound.
We are all, including our veterans, way more alike than we are different.
We all experience trauma in our lives, we all have to find out who we are and we all have to find out how to produce value so we can exchange that value for the things we need to live.
How do we overcome our trauma?
How do we find the mental peace of mind and the basic needs met to find, develop, and focus on our learning of who we are?
How often do we get stuck doing something in exchange for money that isn’t actually our superpower?
We are all on this magnificent journey, one on the inside, with ourselves and another as we interact with the world and all those in it.
So like I said, I’m just like you.
Along this journey I come to a few realizations:
Realizations
Realization #1 — I am constantly looking for two things: myself, who I am — and those in this world who I and am both safe & resonate with — my tribe.
I am finding it more and more important to protect my energy. I know that sounds woo woo but no matter how strong I get, emotionally, mentally, and physically I’ve realized that the people around me directly impact me — for better or worse. I want to surround myself with people who lift me up as I lift them up in return so we can all lift up others.
Realization #2 — In my desire to find those I connect with, an interesting reality developed — I thought the circle would be small and exclusive BUT I’m learning that there are more wonderful people in that circle than I had ever before expected. If you listen to people on the airwaves we all disagree about everything… Clearly, they are wrong, I, and I think we all, relate to more people than we ever thought we would.
I want to find as many of these amazing people as I can.
I was recently speaking at a summit and the following video (Video Coming Soon) gives an interesting take on just how alike we all are.
Finding your tribe exercise:
Imagine you are in a large group, 100 or so people.
Question #1
Now you have to pick a side… Are you a dog or a cat person?
“Raise your hand if you are a dog person” I asked “Everyone look around and remember who has their hands raise”
Now look around in your mind — imagine how many hands, place faces to the hands, people you know who are dog people.
“Now put your hands down. Who is a cat person? Raise your hands”
“Now everyone look around.”
Question #2
“Ok same exercise with whether or not you are an Oceans or Mountains person”
“Look around”
Try to remember who chooses what, remember the faces.
Question #3
“Ok next to last question… Toilet Paper over or under — now don’t get all up in arms over this one, we know how many people have died over this argument”
Question #4
Last question: Socks with Sandals? Nevermind — I don’t want to know — you know that’s just not right
Now close your eyes again and imagine all the people who raised their hands, did everyone have the same answers? Were all the dog people also mountain people? Were all the toilet paper under people also cat people?
Some people were…
See, we’re all this wonderful mix of different beliefs, ideas, and opinions. And that is a beautiful thing.
Realization #3 — The people I resonate with believe in following core principles, not fads.
Basing how we act on principles rather than fads is the only way to make sure you don’t look back and say “well everyone else was doing it.” Principals don’t change; tactics, technology, tools, and knowledge can all evolve but the core drivers will always come back to a core principle.
We don’t always agree on simple things — aren’t we as humans funny creatures — BUT with that being said I do think we all agree with a few basic principles:
- Freedom is better than slavery
- Love is a wiser motivator than hate and fear
- We want a civilized and kind society that cares about other people
Freedom requires financial security, it is much easier to act out of love rather than fear if we feel safe, and if we can be free and more loving we will see a more civilized and kind society that cares about other people.
Everything I’ve realized up until this point leads me to my first Core Principal:
Core Principle #1
To succeed we need each other.
The opportunity WE have is how we create more freedom and more safety. We can’t do this alone and obviously, we aren’t there yet. We all, as a society, need to come together and improve, so that brings me to my second core principle.
Core Principle #2
Self-awareness and humility is the key to personal progression.
Right now we are all being driven to pick sides, to divide ourselves, and if we are dog people we can’t agree with cat people even if we all like the Oceans and the toilet paper over.
There is no controlling us or distracting us if we figure out that we have more in common, more principals that we agree on than we disagree on.
Then we might actually start talking with each other, that we might figure out that we can solve important problems if we work together - if we take the time to stop fighting and start talking.
Here is what I want from you, and yes I want ACTION from you.
I want you to help me make my point.
Comment where ever you see the video, maybe it’s on a medium post (like this), a blog post, Facebook, or on Youtube.
Are you a:
Dog or Cat person?
Oceans or Mountains?
Over or Under with your toilet paper?
-Don’t answer the socks with sandals question…
AND do you agree with my core principles up to this point? Especially that self-awareness is the key to personal Progression, to us becoming better people. If you agree with that, please continue reading — if not let me persuade you further…
Core Principle #3
I’ve spent my life tripping and falling, failing, and being foolish. Trust me, that is the way it feels and even more — the way it looks sometimes.
Funny thing though, I keep getting up and trying again.
What about you? Are you still on the ground, reading this on your phone after tripping and falling and you’ve just decided to stay down?
Or did you get up?
Are you going at it again, are you trying, even if you aren’t doing a great job at the trying part yet?
I’m sure you are — I just can’t imagine you laying on the ground, having given up, reading this post… Just can’t picture it.
This brings me to Realization #4 — Failure is a part of the process and if you aren’t failing you’re not really trying.
This brings me to my next realization AND one that connects Realization #3 and #4
Realization #5 — Humility is the key to getting better
You might ask “How does that connect #3 and #4?”
I can be smart and NOT fail at things that someone else is very good at, I can learn from their mistakes. I can listen, be teachable, and even more important I can surround myself with those who will kindly be a mirror for me when I do fail and again I can listen, and be teachable.
Being humble isn’t just about NOT thinking you are great, I actually think that is a HUGE misinterpretation of the word. It’s knowing you are great when you are and then at the same time knowing when YOU AREN’T and being open and able to admit that you need help in those moments too.
Self-awareness and humility go hand in hand, knowing where you are powerful and wonderful and knowing where you can get better is everything — it is the key to progressing at the speed of thought.
Finally my last realization:
Realization #6: kindness is cool (yes I had to borrow that from ya Russ) Everything can be achieved with compassion.
I have haters, yep, I have people who to their own detriment carry around with them a nasty horrible ball of hate inside them — and they’ve placed my name on it.
Is their hate justified?
Absolutely, maybe, maybe not — I’m not a perfect person.
Remember when I talked about failures? Think about any of your failures in life. Did they affect other people? They often do, well I’ve tried to do some BIG things, so my failures have absolutely affected other people.
I do want to be clear here — I have never acted with malice in my heart or with the intent to deceive or harm anyone.
That doesn’t change the fact that some of my actions throughout life have failed and that those failures have impacted others — I wish those people could understand just how much that fact weighs on my heart as I continue through life. I do not forget and I would love to talk with anyone who feels like I have wronged them.
Even when confronting your deepest mistakes, your worst failures, or your most embarrassing moments you can face them with kindness, humility, and grace. Even if you can’t fix the issue or make it right at that moment you can own it, and communicate your desire to fix it, even if that fix or remedy comes sometime down the road.
People are more forgiving than we often give them credit for.
AND if you’ve been wronged YOU can act with kindness, grace, and compassion too. Offer an olive branch, create a safe place for them to admit their fault, and even own your part in the situation (there are usually two sides to every story right?).
At the end of the day, it’s not how we handle the easy situations but how we handle the hard things that define who we are.
I’m joining the ‘Zest Enlight Beta’ because I want to be both a mirror for others and find amazing and kind mirrors for myself.
Are you a kind, forgiving, judgment-free mirror?
Are you a seeker of knowledge?
Are you seeking to provide amazing value to the world with your superpower?
Are you looking for others to help you with your dream while at the same time willing to help others with their dreams?
Could we be looking for each other?
If so, I’d love to connect!
